I’ve always been a writer. It’s my most favorable way of creation and expressing. As with all things though, sometimes we do forget the importance of keeping going that which is most important to the oneself. Becoming entangled in and around different people all around us. Sometimes finding more solace in others than your own company.
Thankfully I’ve made a radical choice this year, coming ot from the people pleasing energy. To do everything that truly serves me. For when I truly serve myself I serve all others naturally.
It’s been one of the hardest choices I’ve ever had to make if I’m honest. It’s brought me high amounts of time in solitude. More than ever before. Even though I’ve always been one to love my own company deeply and never really had trouble spending large amounts of time by myself. This time, making such a conscious active intention for it made it a whole other story. It made me have to face the loneliness when it came, and not run from it. Accept the choice I’ve made and stay with it in deep presence and groundedness.
It’s really given me so much time to think and come back to my values and what I need to thrive. In the past years I’ve been a lot in the external. The result of that was that I kind of lost myself and what I wanted in life for me. Whats important for me to feel good long term. Now turning all of that around I’ve had so much fun studying more than I’ve done in many years and learning new skills and things I’ve always wanted to master and evolve in. Creating new habits, reprogramming my mind, efficiently and deeply. Really going deep within. Searching for what it is I came here for and what I crave from life.
Now molding it into my needs and exciting new habits.
Although I am still in the familiar safe zone, I know for sure that I am preparing for the unknown and bigger. Life is finally bringing me into the equation of creation and more is becoming clear about what I am meant to do and how to consistently move towards that version of myself.
It’s so funny when we think about it. One of the topics I’ve studied most lately is successful people. What their habits are and how they came to their success and its truly such small yet consistent things from the ”normal” human that creates the real big change. So for instance getting up earlier in the morning, in between 4–5am. Having a schedule every day. Exercising daily. Meditating. Funny thing is that before I even started to read into this I had already incorporated all of these things slowly but surely into my everyday life and new habits. So that’s truly an amazing way to observe the power of the higher self and soul in action. How unconsciously it works and penetrates all areas of our lives if we just let it.
Now with becoming consistent with my blogging it’s been another deep (re)awakening. I’ve been blogging on and off ever since I was 13, that’s 13 years ago! It’s like, I’ve always had all the tools and what I truly need for my evolution to finalize, but I just haven’t been doing it on a consistent enough level. And then theres been the big one of, ”oh but who will read what I have to say, it’s all already been written, am I original enough?” Now I’ve come to the nice and liberated innerstanding that I couldn’t give any less of a fuck. I’m doing this for me. Because it’s my kind of therapy and it helps me have a healthy creative outlet for my thoughts and so many oceanic deep feelings that otherwise just get stacked in my body stay untransmuted.
So this year is fun. It’s a year of my self forgiveness times 100 million. It’s a year of my self discovery and self realization. It’s a year of my self embodiment and radical unapologetic living, by choosing me and what serves my highest good for truly the first time in my life. Theres only been a month and already so much has changed within and without me. I can’t even begin to explain it. The clarity is deeper than ever and the flow is becoming more and more pronounced in all sense of my life.
And even though I’m still deeply working on healing lots of non serving inner dialogue, thoughts and some habits. I can see its all moving in the right direction quite quickly. The more time I actually spend in solitude the emptier I become of everyone else’s ideas and perceptions and simply come back to myself and my core knowings.
So therefore, dear blessed soul reading this. I challenge you to disconnect. From friends and family. From the external world. As much as you can to the extent possible, as long as it’s not damaging for your mental or physical health, and go within. Look deep inside yourself. What you you want? What makes you feel good. It’s all about finding those small things that propels us further. Minimalize your life. Declutter your internal and external. Find back to the source of yourself. It’s always been there, you just might have forgot to be in service of it. It’s a beautiful thing that one friend of my once taught me. If we are truly God incarnate in a physical body becoming self aware, isn’t then serving God truly, serving yourself? Thats what I’m coming to integrate on a deeply profound level. I am choosing to serve the Goddess within me. Because if I don’t have her, I truly don’t have anything worth having.