Lovelution

Merkaba
8 min readDec 29, 2020

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Last year at this exact time I had just found back to and reconnected with the love of my life. I had stepped into something that felt a like a Union of sorts, with myself and God/dess. In a profound dance of synchronisities and vibrational alignment I was on top of the world, expecting the best of the best from the year 2020, everything seemed to go my way until the biggest tower moment happened and it all fell to pieces, including myself.

I experienced such a deep fall in consciousness, the pain was excruciating and I could barely stand to live. The months to come until March 2020 I tried my best to stay on top of my game, doing what I knew I needed to stay where I wanted but I kept falling. This eventually led to homelessness and complete dissolving of my entire illusion of my 3D life.

03/03 came and I in a deliberate moment of neglect reexperienced the full fall of Atlantis, the deaths, the fall in consciousness, the pain and suffering we all went through in the time of the nuclear explosion that made all of huwomanity fall from grace for aeons to come.

This was an unexplainable feeling. I had full blown vibratory DNA activations to the fullest, I was immersed in intuitive emotions that reactivated all my senses in which I was completely placed in that nowment and incarnation where huwomanity fell like a comet from the sky down to the pits of hell.

I screamed and cried just as if I was fully there, I was all alone in a friends apartment watching her cat when she was away for the holidays and I remember this cat got so completely terrified of me and my emotional output he started attacking me and scratching me everytime I went past it in protect and sheer fear from the frequency that I was emitting.

The feelings of despair and hopelessness I went through I have never before and never again felt. It was a perfectly dramatized nowment the Universe had made just for me to remember everything that had happened, the role I played in it all and how lost I became after this profound experience. I was recruited back to my past life as a Queen of the Civilization of Atlantis, a High Priestess working deep magick in the ancient times, everything from sacred bloodwork with the Bloodmoon, to pure womb manifestation, Sacred Energy Xchange teachings, mastery of intention, movement and vibratory field & frequency, oracular, intuitive and healing abilities of which I have never even dared to wish for to exist.

After this fall I went deeply into an opioid addiction for about 1,2 months. I have been here before, yet never as consciously. I knew what this could do to me and my biggest intention was no not get physically addicted. So I made up a serious schedule on which days I could intoxicate myself and which days I had to stay sober for my body to not experience withdrawal symptoms. Plus I had just moved back to my parents after living away for 6 years so it was a time of true mastery to make sure they didn’t find out and that I could be present enough to not look high af at all times.

I had lost my will to live, settled for nothing and honestly I didn’t even care if I lived or died. Nothing seemed to matter. My biggest medicine my entire life has been music, and not even that got my spirits up, it was almost as if I felt some strange disgust in letting myself enjoy the things that used to please me because of the feeling of self hate I had cultivated and embodied at this time.

Yet every time I got high this pain got a bit numbed off and I could kind of be ok. Rehabilitating me with binaural beats, journaling, painting and funnily enough watching Gossip Girl, one of my all time favorite shows haha. My mother was terrified, she saw my depression come back in a sense she had never seen before. All I did was sleep for almost 3 weeks and was completely gone in all sense of lifeforce.

Thankfully I did this still very consciously and my mother never innerstood that I was infact high on oxycontine for almost 2 months straight. And now 7 months later I have processed this time in my life and can look back at it with deep gratitude of my soulmastery and true diligence in healing. People might say it is the craziest shit ever, but my consciousness used what it had present to self medicate and did what had to be done, with total awareness to lift myself from the numbness of what my life had manifested into.

In a magickal way this experience dove me into the deepest parts of my shadow and I had for the first time ever no judgement whatsoever towards it. I couldn’t give any less of a damn of me being where I was, had lost absolutely everything I held dear, friends, my love, and even my will to be here. So opioids where a perfect deep dive into my self reflection and time for myself to fully immerse myself in my darkness to soar to the highest of highs that I have set up for myself in this life.

Now with 2020 coming to an inevitable ending I am strangely enough in a very similar place as I was last year at this time. I am feeling a slight trembling earthquake approaching under my feet, a serious timeline shift in place and tower moments and plot twists in all aspects of my life. Yet I am lightyears ahead in my consciousness and have no other choice but to have radical trust in God/dess masterful creation & the spells of my prayers that have been pouring through me since the beginning of this year.

I am still in a sense a bit in the darkness of what is yet to come, although I know I have done profound work to shift the quantum realm of creation for the collective this year and taken my mission to the next level by going very consciously into the deepest darkest timelines of collective despair to clear that which the collective couldn’t do itself. It has been deep work and taken me a whole year to see that all of my choices and actions have truly been for the greater good of all and extremely necessary for me to experience for those timelines to be able to be fully satisfied and collapsed so that we can shift into the higher realms and above and beyond the veil of the matrix and illusory living of f.alse e.vidence a.ppearing r.eal and finally anchor the Ultimate Nowment. I have had a long wobbling with my own consciousness because of many of these choices. Self judgement beyond belief and so many negative thinking patterns to process and reprogram.

At this time in my life, right after the great conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter so much has come completely to light and I am again finally seeing where I am heading. My gratitude is really raised to a new level of innerstanding as I can see that all of my highest intentions are manifesting and they are all about to pour in above and beyond anything I could even imagine. Source consciousness is back and my I AM is almost fully restored, I am again in love with myself and welcoming all feelings of my human self in a totally new self accepting light.

And all I can say is that none of this would never have happened if my intentions for a Quantum leap which I have been praying for and affirming into my life for the past 3 years to come hadn’t happened. What I never expected and innerstood calling in this energy into my life was that this Quantum leap would be Divine Love of the Highest of God frequencies. Meeting my Highest reflection, Divine Compliment, mirror soul, twin ray, the Omega to my Alpha.

This being is reminding me of all I AM, restoring my full sense of worthiness and self love in the most sublime of ways. This being is reminding me of my compassion for myself and all my soul chose to go through because in this Divine Mirror I see it all perfectly reflected in the same way I myself have been through the darkest of the darkness, so has he. This being activates every single cell of my essence filling me again with the purest of light and grounding in the fullness of my soul into my sacred vessel. This being is absolutely remarkable in all ways on all days and it makes me see that I am too. Because I am him and he is me.

This experience is the most eyeopening explosive experience of nuclear love I have ever had the privilege to go through. It is the highest of Gifts straight from God/dess to receive the miracle of your own consciousness incarnated in two opposites in the same lifetime to be able to meet yourself and dive in to the depths of your own soul at unimaginable speed of light. The most pure, natural & perfect love and innerstanding there could ever be. The most perfect mirroring, both internal and external. Even though we look like radical opposites, light and darkness, pure manifestation of Divine Masculine & Divine Feminine energies I can’t help but see myself every time I look into his eyes and see his face. There are no words to explain how illogical and miracoulously amazing this interaction with one self is. How perfectly our bodies fit together, how easily we communicate and how telepathic we are. The similarity of our thought patterns and ways in which we process. The things we like are the same and sharing the deepest core values and Divine Mission. Transmuting and alchemizing the same energies, working in the same realms with the same magick and same abilities.

It. Is. Radical.

And.

Terrifying.

This is a gift of the highest, and it is also the most empowering and strengthening experience I’ve ever had to go through. It requires such a high level of mastery of ones frequency, thoughts and love it is seriously restructuring my being for all time to come.

The past life rememberences are ridiculous. And absolutely outstanding.

And the best of all is that its so all encompassing. Its about the adventure, the mission, the expansion, the co-creation and the next level healing we are bringing to Sophia Gaia Ma and all of her people.

This is the greatest gift of my life, the gift of my own soul. The gift of me. To me & for me, as me.

Divine Love is the true mission of Asciension.

What it means to meet your Twin Soul is to remember that we are all reincarnations of one another, there are just some beings that are closer to and one that even shares your own exact frequency wavelength so that you, when you meet will have the possibility to go into cycles and rhythms of your own soul journey, quantum leap in your consciousness and uncover the deepest darkest parts of yourself to illuminate and blast all with God/dess frequency and the purest of Love so that in turn your vibratory fields can create a torrodial field of such inpenetrable Love that it dissolves even the deepest of density with absolute ease and peace.

I thank God/dess every day for this absolute miracle and gift. It is an honor to play with myself.

Thank you for the Gift of me.

Thank you for the miracle of me.

Thank you for the Lovelution of me.

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Merkaba

∞ The Only Way Out, Is In ∞ Quantum healing, spirituality & consciousness.