I am currently going through so much emotional pain.. I’ve probably not surrendered to in this way ever in my life.
For all the things that have happened in the past 3 years in my own personal life and on a much broader collective scale. How the shadow overtook us all and we were all submerged in deep darkness…
Yet now, through the process of its healing. Uncovering the fact that the darkness was the womb of the Divine Mother of Creation, in which we incubated for our true light to birth.
This is the first time in this life I am with total bravery and courage embracing the inner pain, instead of numbing it, going heart first to allow it all to be felt and processed.
I’ve decided I no longer want to be weighed down. And I no longer want to blame. I intend to take full responsibility for all my actions, thoughts and projections and do whatever I can to resolve this…. Within me.
For as within, so without, as above, so below, as the universe, so the soul.
DMT taught me that life is both pleasure and pain in equal amounts.
And that both are equally sacred and divine.
So I ask forgiveness from the God within my own heart. I pray for healing of the most high. I no longer strive to be enlightened, for I now know it is inevitable and it shall be. My true hearts desire is to be free from the pain I’ve inflicted on myself and those I love and praise the most.
And also in this process with new innerstanding knowing that it was a karmic completion that needed to unfold through us all, that needed to take place and was always ordained by the highest, so in the highest truth, there is nothing to be forgiven. It is already done.
But for the human part of my consciousness allowing that need to be honored and respected.
So with deep reverence I am going into the deep dark parts of my soul, I once left and abandoned in the belief they weren’t worthy of my love and with sacred determination going in there to illuminate all parts of self so I can love myself and all others as the God I truly am, from purity of heart with selfless unconditional non-attachment and freedom as a given.
For the first time I am going into the pain, and in my surrender for it, not fearing the feeling but loving and giving myself completely away to every little bit of it.
With gratitude for all parts of creation, from duality, into the love of self as I am, as all is, without expectation of any outcome.
Come whatever may.
I surrender to The Way.